I was late for work today. I wish I could say it was because I had a doctor's appointment, or even bad traffic. The honest answer is that I was sucked into watching Jerry Springer.

I know I should be embarrassed, but I couldn't help myself. Like wrestling, it's staged entertainment, so I don't get morally indignant about the downfall of America. However, I enjoy it a little too much when I realize that, although it's clearly staged, the participants are a little too stupid to be justifiably allowed to breed. Yet, I continued watching.

Why, you may ask? Dwayne needed to confront his wife. At 21-years-old, he's "in the prime of his life" and needs to enjoy himself. His wife, Amber, is 7-months pregnant with their third child, but sits around the house all day because she "chose to be a housewife for her occupation". Dwayne needed to tell her to buck up and lose 20 pounds. Normally, that wouldn't be enough to interest me but as I slipped my socks on, Dwayne uttered the hook that reeled me in.

"About a year ago, I seen her cousin Sunshine at Wal-Mart."

You know that won't end well.