I don't know which part of this Dear Abby letter I find more contemptible:

Dear Abby:

I have reason to believe that a young man in my family might be gay. He is 15. I have been thinking a lot about it lately, and have been wondering if circumcision would cure it. What do you think?

—Grandmother in Missouri

So many thoughts... First, I can't imagine that a family in which any member would think that circumcision might "cure" homosexuality has any males who've lived beyond day two and remained intact. I wonder how that kid got lucky enough to avoid the knife. Assuming this letter is legitimate, I can only hope he survives with his penis and sanity intact for his remaining few years until adulthood.

Second, I'm not gay, but I feel confident in suggesting that being gay is not rooted in unrestrained sexual gratification. In a base form, sexuality is about little more than gratification, regardless of orientation. But most human beings, straight or gay, quickly move beyond the immature need to just get off and seek more fulfilling sexual experiences that involve more than a partner's genitalia. If this young man is normal, straight or gay, you'd have to circumcise his mind if you had any hope of "curing" him of his sexual orientation. That you'd then leave his sexuality a shell of its natural physical and emotional state should matter.

Third, this assumes he's gay, so no matter the reality, Something Must Be Done™. Why? You want him to be happy, as long as that happiness conforms. But what if he's straight, or his sexual orientation isn't "curable"? What would circumcision achieve? I know potential benefits are enough, but is it possible for such ignorance to confront the possibility that some parts of life exist beyond our control? Being uncontrollable does not make them wrong.

Post Script: Dear Abby's response is sufficient, I suppose, although I'd prefer not explaining circumcision as a sacred rite. The point about gay Jews is appropriate, I guess, since I suspect dumbing down a response is necessary to challenge stupidity.