I’m ashamed of my neighbors. We experience an earthquake and many of them feel the need to call the AM news station. And the newspaper. And the Po-Leece. I know the world was coming to an end, but what will the police do about rocks dancing across your patio?
I could forgive that, but none of you provided a quality disaster quote. (Will Thomas, you suck.) Instead of that silver medal quote I requested, I have to resort to juvenile innuendo for my entertainment. Regretfully, I present this to you:
Chris Glover was cooking at home in Fredericksburg. He didn’t feel anything, but his two daughters, 4 and 8, did.
“They came running into the kitchen and said, ‘Did you just make a big noise? Because the doors were shaking and all the birds outside flew away,’ ” said Glover, 40, a library system employee.
There was an earthquake outside of Richmond today. Many people around the Washington, D.C. metro area felt it. From this article, I present the common man’s report from the nation’s capital:
“A woman says she felt the ‘earth shake down’ in Fairfax, while a man in Laurel says his ‘whole house was shaking.’ Ken Smith in Rockville says his office shook and ‘stuff moved on shelves.'”
“Colleen in Arlington says she was sitting at her home computer and heard a low rumbling and then her desk lamp started to shift. ‘I also felt a slight vibration through my desk.'”
I will be watching the local news tonight. As much as I like the initial quotes provided by my fellow citizens, I know Fox 5 has it in them to find me an earthquake quote. Will Thomas, earn your paycheck and find me one of life’s winners. I’m going to set a high standard for you. See if you can beat my favorite disaster quote, from an Amtrak derailment several years ago. I’m not making this up.
“Jim Anderson, who lives less than a mile from the site, said he was in bed when the derailment startled him and his dog. ‘I thought my furnace blowed up. I heard a bunch of grinding and then boom,’ he said. ‘That dog of mine jumped out of bed and started growling at the window.'”
Ok, that’s a gold medal quote. Aim for the silver, Will.
Who knew that internet suicides were happening? Wouldn’t it make more sense to meet up with people and do something really crazy, like go to the Miss America Pageant?