Category: News

I need to rant one more time about the Super Bowl halftime show. This post will be disjointed because I’m going to quote this article and comment on each quote. So it begins…

Executives at PepsiCo, historically one of the largest and most successful Super Bowl advertisers, are threatening to pull out of next year’s Super Bowl if they’re not given clear assurances that such an incident won’t happen again. “We’re very serious about this,” PepsiCo spokesman Mark Dollins said.

PepsiCo executives also were disappointed that viewers were talking more about the Jackson incident than the commercials. “It speaks to our extreme disappointment that all that quality work has been overshadowed,” Dollins said. The various PepsiCo brands, including Frito-Lay, Sierra Mist and Pepsi, aired six commercials on Sunday’s broadcast.

I know why people are talking about this more than the commercials: the commercials sucked. And what Janet Jackson revealed was no worse than some of the commercials Pepsi has aired. And Pepsi has no right to be indignant. Until they stop selling sugar water that rots bodies, they aren’t allowed to be indignant about a semi-bare breast rotting minds.

The incident shocked a society that seems to be ever more unshockable, but this time it might have gone too far for many Americans. On one side of the debate: outraged citizens who immediately lit up the CBS switchboard with complaints.

Their sentiments were no doubt much like those of M.B. Ellis, 78, owner of a small publishing house in Mobile, Ala., who wrote in a letter to USA TODAY’s Sports section: “What a depressing display of filth, obscenity, cruelty, and just plain stupidity! What ever happened to dignity and good taste in this country?”

“What’s in line for next year’s halftime show?” asked Ed Zak, 43, a father of three from New Smyrna Beach, Fla. “How about two ‘artists’ having sex at the 50-yard line – all in the name of NFL entertainment. When you do, please give us a head’s up so I can prepare myself how to explain to my kids what they watched.”

I’m not unshockable, but I’m not shocked by this. This is stupid. And if you’re so upset, why write to USA Today? What can they do about it?

The Super Bowl’s halftime show itself has become something to watch as it has become edgier. It has gone from marching bands and Up With People to attention-getting pop stars in elaborately produced spectacles. And it’s gobbled up by the viewers.

Because lemmings love a good crapfest.

Sex literally sells: A piece of jewelry similar to the one Jackson was wearing on her breast was available on eBay before the day was out. A sun shield design for pierced nipples had an opening bid of $19.99 and was touted “as seen on TV!”

Did it literally sell? Are people buying them or are they just for sale? There is a difference.

For its part, AOL, which spent an estimated $10 million to sponsor the halftime show and broadcast several ads and promos during and before the game, said it’s not very happy with the outcome. The company dropped plans to offer Internet access to rebroadcasts of the show “in deference to our membership and the fans,” said Ruth Sarfaty, an AOL spokeswoman.

“In deference” to their membership and the fans? Dear AOL: I already have a mommy, thanks. Since you think I need a new one, I don’t ask her approval when I want to watch something on TV or the internet. I’m never going to ask for your approval.

Parents Television Council president Brent Bozell rejected the denials. “The performance, including the offensive material, was obviously scripted,” he said in a statement issued by his parents advocacy group. “We find Justin Timberlake’s apology and explanation to be dishonest and disingenuous.”

I’ll group this with the next quote.

The Family Research Council and the Southern Baptist Convention also denounced the show. Council president Tony Perkins urged the FCC on Monday to hold CBS accountable. “CBS should know better than to turn the halftime entertainment over to MTV, which relishes its ability to shock. CBS would do well to adhere to the adage ‘If you sleep with dogs, you’ll get fleas.’ I am sure there is a lot of scratching going on at CBS today.”

Thanks for judging people. Justin Timberlake is a liar and “CBS should know better”. Family values protecting our nation. Kick ass.

Some ad experts didn’t buy official explanations, either. Jerry Della Femina, ad guru and CEO of Della Femina, Rothschild, Jeary & Partners, a Manhattan-based ad agency, said Monday that even if the networks weren’t aware that Jackson was going to bare her breast, CBS should have known what to expect.

“When CBS put these people on the halftime show, they had to know what they would get. They are screaming, ‘This is terrible.’ It’s like Claude Rains discovering there’s gambling at Rick’s in Casablanca: ‘I’m shocked, shocked.’ For CBS it’s a little too late.”

This is a brilliant PR stunt. Get your ad agency talked about while moralizing. Maybe they can produce ads for The Family Research Council.

But not everyone was unhappy. TiVo Inc., which makes digital video recorders enabling instantaneous replay, said viewership of the revealing moment nearly doubled that of the rest of the broadcast, the biggest jump the company has ever measured.

And how does TiVo know this? Because they monitor their customers. Think about that for a moment and tell me that the halftime show is our nation’s biggest concern.

“We have no say over halftime entertainment,” said Jeff Kuhlman, spokesman for the Cadillac division of General Motors, which aired three spots during the game and was the official vehicle of the Super Bowl. “We think the NFL will do what’s right for their brand. Quite frankly, we’re very comfortable having our brand aligned with their brand.”

I don’t own a Cadillac, but I applaud them for being reasonable about this.

FYI, I also know why Cadillac is being reasonable about this. They’ve thought about their commercials from the Super Bowl. They realize that the “our car is faster than the speed of sound commercial was illogical. If the car was faster than the speed of sound, it would’ve taken a moment for the sound to catch up. That concept is cool. But the driver’s voice wouldn’t have been delayed because the car was sitting still when he said “wow”. His voice should’ve been heard, followed by the car’s road noise catching up to the car.

This entire scandal is tiresome. I imagine that the rest of the world is laughing at us. To that, I say this: Grow up, America.

I missed the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show. Even with the controversy, I don’t regret missing it. At the time, I was ticked off by the commercials and uninspired by the “superstars” scheduled to perform. I wanted nothing to do with the crapfest that is the Super Bowl halftime show. (For what it’s worth, I watched the special features on my rented copy of the spectacular The Real World You Never Saw: Paris). With that warning, I present to you my view on the fallout from the chaos.

Every news outlet has the same article covering the outrage over this, but I read it in The Washington Post. I don’t care about the hype that goes with this and the blame being placed at the doors of CBS. By all accounts, they handled the situation well by turning the cameras away immediately and not belaboring the point in the broadcast booth. Assuming those accounts are true, that’s the way to be professional about the unexpected. What I disagree with is the initial response from the FCC Chairman. In particular, this:

“I am outraged at what I saw during the halftime show of the Super Bowl,” Powell said. “Like millions of Americans, my family and I gathered around the television for a celebration. Instead, that celebration was tainted by a classless, crass and deplorable stunt. Our nation’s children, parents and citizens deserve better.”

He told the commission to open an investigation, promising it would be “thorough and swift.” Such an investigation could result in a fine of up to $27,500 or — if the FCC applied the sanction to each CBS station — in the millions.

Even though I believe America is too puritanical about nudity on television, I agree that the Super Bowl halftime show isn’t the place to show naked people. I have a problem with the deplorable intention behind Mr. Powell’s “thorough and swift” investigation. There’s no question that it aired, so that fact isn’t in dispute. However, mollifying the outraged public with a swift boot up someone’s ass isn’t the way to deal with this.

Fairness is still the overriding principle needed in the eventual resolution. The public doesn’t care how this is handled. If the resolution isn’t decided before tomorrow morning’s broadcast of the Today Show, no one will care. The FCC needs to take it’s time to determine the facts, then allow CBS the opportunity to resolve the matter.

If CBS was unaware that this would occur, they shouldn’t be fined for an accident. They could’ve put the halftime show on a delay, but I’m assuming that was never deemed necessary before now. I have no doubt that future telecasts of the halftime show will be on a delay, which is a smart business reaction to this unforeseen negative event.

Which leads to this:

The FCC has come under fire from lawmakers and outside groups who say the agency hasn’t done enough to shield the public from indecent programming on radio and TV.

An excessive response from the FCC isn’t the way to do this. The primary responsibility of regulatory/legislative bodies in America is to enforce standards, whatever the issue. (I contend that American standards on this issue are wrong, but I’m making a general point.) The FCC needs to allow the broadcast networks to self-police themselves for future Super Bowls before clamping down with action.

Finally, I know we all waited with anticipation to know this:

At the White House, President Bush said he missed the show.

“Saw the first half, did not see the halftime — I was preparing for the day and fell asleep,” he told reporters Monday after a Cabinet meeting.

I love that our president couldn’t stay awake long enough to finish watching the game.

My commute to work is normally 30 minutes. I spent almost 2 hours in my car this morning thanks to the “winter storm” we had last night. In Washington, DC, winter storm means .3 inches. Make sure you read that closely… Point three inches. That means the first car to hit the road this morning melted it all with tire friction.

For my entertainment, this quote is from an article in the paper. It details the beauts that live around me.

A number of schoolbuses were just plain stuck, unable to move at all.

Many commuters could not get out of their driveways. And when they did, some returned after seeing the clogged roads ahead.

On top of it all, metrorail’s Orange Line was closed for a time during the early morning hours after an SUV crashed through a fence near the East Falls Church station and landed on the tracks.

I’ll take these in order:

“A number of schoolbuses were just plain stuck, unable to move at all.” The poor writing of this sentence shows the level of intelligence in our nation’s capital. Enough said.

“Many commuters could not get out of their driveways.” I backed my Volkswagen out of its parking space, uphill, with no problem. People are incompetent.

“On top of it all, metrorail’s Orange Line was closed for a time during the early morning hours after an SUV crashed through a fence near the East Falls Church station and landed on the tracks.” I have no idea how this happened. For anyone not familiar with DC and I-66, allow me to explain what had to happen for this SUV to get onto the tracks of the Metro.

1. Veer to the left at a 90 degree angle.

2. Jump the 3 foot concrete wall.

3. Drive on the grass for 15 feet.

4. Knock down the chain link fence.

5. Drive over gravel for 3 feet.

6. Drive onto train tracks.

It’s so easy, I can’t believe it doesn’t happen all the time. With some liberties on my part, Eric Cartman said it best. “Ehhhhhhhhhh. God I hate you, D.C. drivers.”

Following up on my Mad Cow disease post, the U.S. Agriculture Department announced that it will kill 450 calves in Washington state. One of these calves is an offspring of the cow confirmed to have the disease. I quote:

Officials decided to kill all month-old calves in the Sunnyside, Wash., herd because they cannot determine which one was born to the infected cow. While officials have said contaminated feed is the most likely source of infection, they cannot rule out transmission of the disease from mother to calf.

These facts are reassuring. Quality control is so good in the meat industry that they have to kill 450 calves to be certain that they kill the right calf. That’s how I want my food supply monitored.

On another note, I found an article about being a man, which means eating a burger. After reading it, I haven’t decided if I will scream or laugh. There are several annoying points and lame attempts at humor, but there are ideas that made me laugh at myself as a vegan. (I’m not going to recap most of it, but I do recommend that you read it. It’s worth the effort. And the link will open the article in a new window.)

I’ve never asked anyone if Pez is vegan because I’ve confirmed it for myself by reading the ingredients. I ask waiters about ingredients every time I go to a new restaraunt. I had planned to start claiming I had food allergies, but it’s my body and my money so I don’t need to lie.

Even though the writer is using humor, there are valid points in the following paragraph:

Tasty irony here. Cows are vegetarians who generally mind their own business, and never pick an argument over whether the guy they’re dating would store his meat in their refrigerator if they were married. They get sick when evil ranchers turn them into carnivores – and cannibals – by feeding them nasty remains of cattle and other livestock. It’s all very impolite.

This next statement from the article doesn’t apply to me (because I say so): “One of mad cow’s most horrifying symptoms is to make these people [vegetarians] even more self-righteous than usual.”

As much as I like to rant, I don’t want my posts to be about why you should go vegan since you can make that decision for yourself. It’s the stupidity of this situation that I despise. Thus, when Mark Rahner writes “This means we’re still at grave risk of the spread of obnoxious vegetarians. They can’t discreetly be euthanized, but other measures are being taken,” I’ll accept the humor because he’s trying to be funny rather than rude. Ha ha.

As I step down from my soapbox, I want to thank Mark Rahner since my thoughts were provoked by his article. But since I’m always right, Mr. Rahner, I will, in fact, tip my hat back. And I will do it jauntily. Always jauntily.