Attorney General John Ashcroft resigned today. In his letter of resignation submitted to President Bush, he wrote the following:
“I believe that my energies and talents should be directed toward other challenging horizons,” he said.
May I recommend that he actually read the United States Constitution?
I’ve mentioned in the past that I love maintaining RollingDoughnut.com because of the strange Google searches I receive. This afternoon, I checked my stats and found this: fucked up afghanistan pig in shit.
Serioulsy, people who use the internets are weird. What possesses someone to search for that? I realize that it hit me because I wrote something about Afghanistan in March, but who searches for that specifically? Who, I ask you?
But for anyone who may think I can’t offer practical advice, one lucky visitor found me by searching for ways of entertaining a 12 year old. Since I’m really a 12-year-old girl at heart, I suggest this for the cd player. They’ll be entertained for days upon weeks. I know. It’s working on me.
Some prominent individuals are so busy swimming in Lake We Kicked Your Liberal Asses Because President Bush Is More Popular Than Even Ronald Reagan™ that they can’t be bothered to stop long enough to think. Here’s a perfect example from Peggy Noonan’s column in Opinion Journal:
… The president received more than 59 million votes, breaking Ronald Reagan’s old record of 54.5 million. …
It will be hard for the mainstream media to continue, in the face of these facts, the mantra that we are a deeply and completely divided country. But they’ll try!
I’ve heard that nonsense more than once since Tuesday, but that doesn’t make it any smarter. Yes, Bush received 58,978,616 votes. Good for him. (Not really, but I’m making a point here.) However, the argument doesn’t hold up under even minimal scrutiny. Here are the real numbers explained so well that I’m not going to bother pretending that I can do better. Consider:
Can both sides quit with this “more voters supported our guy than ever before” crap? The US population is 295 million. In 1992, it was 254 million. During Reagan’s landslide reelection, it was 235 million. 124 million when FDR was first elected. So if both sides could drop the meaningless fact that each candidate got more votes than any Republican/Democratic candidate in history, I’d appreciate it.
And while you’re at it– the same applies to opening weekends at the box office. More people, more screens, more expensive tickets. Hell, Gigli could probably be considered a bigger movie than Jaws if you count this way.
Just for the sake of logic, I’m going to assume that there are more eligible voters now than in 1984. Hey, imagine that… more voters equals a higher vote total for the winner. When Reagan won by 16,878,000 votes (out of 92,652,842), that’s a mandate. Bush winning by 3,594,114 votes (out of 115,427,728) is a victory, but not a mandate to run trample over the opposition.
Lest we forget, Kerry received 55,384,497 votes. Even though I attended public schools and a state university, I’m pretty sure that Kerry’s total beat Reagan’s record of 54,455,000, as well. So everybody should lose the hyperbole and just shut up.
I’m breaking my promise not to write any more about the election than yesterday’s post. But there’s a good reason and it doesn’t include denouncing President Bush, not directly anyway. Allow me to explain my deep despair from yesterday and why, even when that despair dissipates, the fragile peace in my mind will still force me to never let up in defending my principles.
The Karl Rove impact on America is my issue. I’m not concerned that a majority of Americans differed from my view of President Bush as a war president or his impact on the financial health of our nation; majority will is the nature of a democracy. The minority within the majority is what concerns me. It’s the “We drank the Kool-Aid, it was really good, you must have some” crowd of the Republican Party who seem to have missed the point of freedom and democracy and decency. That small group of people makes me fret for the immediate future of our great country and the ideals we claim to hold dear. The belief that a heterogeneous society is not only what sets us apart, it’s what makes us so great.
But some among us don’t believe this. They wrap themselves in the flag and pretend that only they are the defenders of the real America. They’re the true patriots, they tell us. If we don’t like it, get the hell out. While others who didn’t vote for Kerry are proclaiming that they’re ready to move to Canada or the U.K., I’m not one of them. This wave of hysteria will pass, but only if someone defends the truth. I will play my small part in that over the next four years and beyond.
I give that introduction to lead into my primary anger at the election. I’m concerned because of the eleven state constitutional amendments banning same-sex marriage that passed. Marriage is a right traditionally reserved for the states, so a state’s citizens passing such an amendment is within their rights, regardless of how ridiculous and discriminatory I may find it. The citizens acted. Now same-sex couples (and singles and traditional couples and singles) know where the state’s citizens stand. They can stay and fight, stay and not fight, or move. As a tourist, I can choose not to visit the states that passed such amendments. All of that is democracy in action.
But that isn’t the whole story, is it? The argument over same-sex marriage (and homosexuality) has extended beyond ridiculous and discriminatory and slipped into hatred. Whatever causes that hatred is interesting but irrelevant. I’m ashamed at my country when I think that this is what people believe and vote into reality.
Here are two examples from e-mails received by Andrew Sullivan about the election illustrate the underbelly of Tuesday’s election. These quotes are the gist of what is wrong with how far today’s Republican Party has strayed from the core of Conservatism and how fanaticism has taken over America. Consider:
“I wonder if you noticed that yesterday all eleven states that considered the question of gay marriage voted to ban it. ALL ELEVEN. I think this sends a very clear message — true Americans do not like your kind of homosexual deviants in our country, and we will not tolerate your radical pro-gay agenda trying to force our children to adopt your homosexual lifestyle. You should be EXTREMELY GRATEFUL that we even let you write a very public and influential blog, instead of suppressing your treasonous views (as I would prefer). But I’m sure someone like yourself would consider me just an “extremist” that you don’t need to worry about. Well you are wrong — I’m not just an extremist, I am a real American, and you should be worried because eleven states yesterday proved that there are millions more just like me who will not let you impose your radical agenda on our country.”
And…
“I’ll tell you, being a 16 year-old gay kid in Michigan just got a hell of a lot worse. When I woke up this morning and saw the anti gay marriage proposal had passed, I was shocked. I realized the situation I’m faced with everyday in school – the American people have just shown my classmates that it’s perfectly fine to discriminate. A direct quote from a ‘friend’ at school today: ‘It’s so cool that all these states just told all the faggots to eat shit and get the hell out…’ Because of the above events, I am at a crossroads … I’m the youngest card-carrying Republican in the county, and am constantly asked to get others involved for Bush/Cheney. Herein lies a problem, I can’t bring myself to do that. Bush totally lost all my support (I know I can’t vote – but I make a hell of a campaigner) when he supported the amendment to ban gay marriages, and I felt bad that in straying from Bush, I was abandoning Cheney, who I have an amazing amount of respect for. Many would say go Democrat… but I can’t do that (that signals the absence of a spine up here), and in the next year, I’m considering dropping my membership to the party. Especially this year, despite how undercut and violated I feel as a gay person, I couldn’t be happier that I am. I’ve got a stronger will because of it, and will lead my life just as strongly.”
Contrary to what some people believe, hatred is not a family value. We’re all in this mess together. Until we accept that, not only does legitimate debate and intellectual curiosity fade away, we increase the divide between those in power and those in the minority. Intentionally creating (or refusing to work to reduce) that gap has never led to anything good. Remember the immortal words of Ximinez, from Monty Python’s Flying Circus:
“Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms – Oh damn! (To Cardinal Biggles) I can’t say it – you’ll have to say it.”
That’s the America I see right now. I don’t like it.
We’re fucked.
That’s only my opinion, but I can’t deny my sadness at the inevitable reduction of civil liberties over the next four years. Or my desperation at the thought of this president believing that he has a mandate from the people to continue to pursue his policies of fiscal destruction. Or my sense of shame for my country at the effectiveness of his despicable campaign of fear and smear. Or my nervousness about the consequences of this president believing that his inflexible tactics in the necessary war on terror were legitimized by the American people. Or, finally, my expectation that the ramifications of this president’s hubris and unquestioned mission from God now that he has free reign and a sycophant Congress will be felt by the next generation and beyond.
It’s easy to dismiss the ranting of someone when you disagree with their opinion, but that doesn’t change the truth. A re-elected president who believes that freedom is based on his judgment commandment from God is destroying the ideals that I hold most dear as an American. But he’s not stopping with me. Now that he’s learned how effectively fear works over the American psyche, we can expect nothing less going forward. What I hold dear was attacked first when the president halted the notion of free speech and backed an amendment that would add discrimination (not to mention Christian theology) into our secular government’s most important document. As angry as I am about that, I’m not alone. He hit my ideals first, but he’s coming for everyone else next. History has shown that, but we haven’t learned. The collective wisdom of Americans failed yesterday and we’ll all pay the consequences.
There’s more nuance to it than that, I know, but I don’t have faith in nuance this morning. One day we’re going to wake up from this collective nightmare. Many of us will have great difficulty in accepting what we’ve allowed to happen, but that day is far in the future. The Conservative values of small, limited government, freedom from the control of that small, limited government, and the belief that open debate and information are dead in America. No one seems poised to revive them. Unfortunately, for now, we must all live with the consequences.
I feel like I’m living the worst movie I’ve ever seen, only that movie is 70,082 hours long and I’m stuck in the theater with the realization that the exits are locked. I hope I’m wrong, but this president has given me no reason to believe in him. Like I said, I think we’re fucked.
I recently wrote an entry about Audible.com using ads mocking John Kerry to promote its ListenBeforeYouVote.com site, a site that exists as little more than a redirect to the main Audible.com site. I complained about how vehemently opposed to it I was. As I mentioned in that entry, I wrote to Audible.com and received the following reply:
I will bring this to the attention of my supervisors. I looked at the link but could not find what you are refering to, but whomever made the page must know somthing about it. I personally do not consider that fair if they are singling out one canidate or the other, and im (sic) sure it was not our intent to do so. Please eccept (sic) my appologies (sic) on behalf of audible, i (sic) will deffenetly (sic) have someone look at this issue. Thank You!
I thought that might be the end, but it’s not. As I said in that entry…
I don’t know if I’d feel the same way if the only ad was the “George W. Bush is an idiot” version, but I only have the information at hand, which mocks the candidate I support. I hope I’d feel the same way if the reverse had been true. I suspect I’d disagree with the marketing plan but wouldn’t be as upset about the sentiment since it matches my own. That doesn’t make it smart.
That’s about right. I found the Cheney ad on a site that has a more liberal bent, so it’s obvious that Audible.com is targeting the assumed readership of specific sites. Since I don’t stick with just my own opinion, I found both. I don’t know if I’m a rare person who comes across that or not, but it doesn’t change how vile and stupid I think the strategy is. Just as with the Kerry ad, portraying Bush supporters as “closed-minded, reactionary war-mongers” is unfair and untrue.
I’m not as angered by the Cheney ad, but I think that’s because the two ads are different in one fundamental way. Since the Cheney ad is cartoonish, the context implies a marketing tone rather than a mocking tone. Perhaps I’m clouded in my judgement, but that’s my view. I still think the ads are despicable.
(For more perspective, consider these ads featuring Hillary Clinton being elistist and
Ann Coulter fighting Al Franken.)
Today I drank a can of water for the first time. As imagined, it tasted like drinking aluminum. I’ve decided I don’t much like drinking water from a can, so my advice is simple: if you ever get the chance to try it, I don’t recommend it.
The Redskins lost today. Despite a valient effort, we were thwarted at every critical moment. Missed tackles, blown coverages, bad officiating and stupid turnovers cost us when we could least afford it. Even though we played well enough to win, fate interceded on behalf of the country.
I always knew that the Redskins are the greatest franchise in football, capable of life-altering brilliance. Little did I know that the team is psychic. Consider:
If history holds, the 28-14 result portends a victory for Kerry on Tuesday because the result of the Redskins’ final home game before the presidential election has always accurately predicted the White House winner. If the Redskins win, the incumbent party wins. If they lose, the incumbent party is ousted.
…
The streak began in 1933, when the Boston Braves were renamed the Redskins. Since then, beginning with Franklin Roosevelt’s re-election in 1936, the trend has held, including a 2000 Redskins loss to the Tennessee Titans that predicted George W. Bush’s win over Al Gore.
I hate to see the Redskins lose, but I have to make my sacrifice for my country in its time a great need. And more importantly, thank you, Mark Brunell, for taking your quarterback suckiness to astonishing new heights. The country owes you a debt of gratitude.
P.S. Sorry, Will, the only way Nader could’ve won was if the game had ended in a tie. Alas, no such luck.
What is the Oral-B® Rembrandt® Whitening Pen? I saw this advertised in a magazine and felt compelled to look it up online. On that front, consider it a marketing success. On the logic scale, consider it a miserable failure. Why would anyone paint their teeth to make them white?
I brush my teeth every day. Wouldn’t it make more sense to brush with a whitening toothpaste? Somehow it seems easier for me to combine both into one simple activity than to require two steps to achieve the same result. Whitening toothpaste is like the genius of including a gun in the barrel of a walking stick. Sure I’d primarily use the cane for extra stability, but if I’m ever attacked by a monkey, I’d be prepared to whip some ass.
I digress… Browsing the website, I did ask myself what are the advantages of the Oral-B® Rembrandt® Whitening Pen? Here are the Oral-B® marketing points:
Product Features:
+ Whitens while you sleep
+ All-in-one gel and applicator
+ Wide, sponge tip for quick application to all teeth
+ Quick-dry formula with no messy dripping
+ Enamel-safe
+ Fresh mint taste
I’m sold, but at $12.99, I have to look for another alternative. I’m going with the $4.98 pack of 2 Bic® Wite-Out® Exact Liner Correction Film/Pens. Now, if Bic® would just put it out in bubblegum flavor, my teeth will be whiter than any fence Tom Sawyer could paint.
With such a spectacular comeback win by the Hokies last night, I must comment on the smarter kids at Georgia Tech. Consider this quote from a student when referring to the atmosphere of Big Time College Sports™ on the Georgia Tech campus:
“It validates that we’re not just nerds,” Kwon said. “Not only are our degrees much better than yours, but we can whip you on the field, too.”
That validates it in the same way the smahrt kids probably feel about the Hahrvahrd Lacrosse team. But there is something that makes me not quite ready to put my two Virginia Tech diplomas on the spinning roll attached to the bathroom wall. Consider:
“Here it is in all its glory — game day at Georgia Tech,” said fifth-year student Johnny Kwon, looking out over the lawn in front of the architecture building. “We sit here, drink beer and watch all the nerds walk by that aren’t going to the game.”
Even with my lesser diploma, I know that people, even nerds, are referred to as “who”, while inanimate objects are referred to as “that”. The right statement is “We sit here, drink beer and watch all the nerds walk by who aren’t going to the game. They’re carrying their X-ray glasses that run on batteries and atomic energy.”
Oh, and our quarterback doesn’t accidentally step out of the back of the end zone for a safety.
