You stupid, stupid… silly little person

I read a column today by Bill Simmons in which he discussed his recent back injury-induced guilt-free TV weekend. He watched many, many episodes of bad television over the Thanksgiving weekend, including the most recent episode of The Apprentice. I loved The Apprentice when it started, but my interest is fading fast. The boardroom scenes are forced and painful to watch. My opinion about The Apprentice matches Bill Simmons’ comments about Desperate Housewives.

Whenever it comes on, I always end up leafing through a magazine or checking my e-mails — it just can’t keep my attention, kinda like this column for you right now.

Exactly, which confuses me when Mr. Simmons’ so absurdly imposes this opinion on me, the innocent connoisseur of fine television programming:

And like everyone else, I enjoy the boardroom challenges and wish they made them longer — maybe even a 90-minute show or something. What’s the downside of going to 90 minutes? “Joey” gets moved to another night? I think people would survive.

I could theoretically accept the idea of moving Joey to another night (may I suggest Wednesday nights, just before Alias), but I vehemently disagree with the notion that no one cares about Joey, or worse, that no one should. I laugh out loud during every episode. Some episodes, that means laughing at how funny the jokes are because they’re funny. The other episodes, that means laughing at how funny the jokes are because they’re not funny. In recent weeks, the former is happening in greater proportions than the latter. And we’re so grateful for that.

When the inevitable DVD release of Season 1 arrives, all the critics will watch and laugh and be all “Whaaaaaaaaat?” I’m telling you, this will happen.

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