I hate this show. When is the next episode?

Behold:This post has a major plot spoiler for last night’s Alias season finale. If you’re a loser like my brother, you let TiVo watch Alias last night for you. You might watch it tonight, you might not. You’ll watch it eventually, when “wedding stuff” doesn’t get in the way, as if that’s more important. I don’t care that the wedding is in eight days. Ummm, it’s Alias. What kind of fan are you? I mean, really, you won’t even suffer the indignity of seeing two naked men so that you can watch Ron Rifkin perform for two hours and meet Ron Rifkin after the show. If you’re like that, you don’t want to read this yet. Warning delivered.

I love that Alias chose to remember that the first 50+ episodes happened, contrary to what ABC might hope, but holy hell, what was that ending last night? I mean, seriously folks, what. the. fuck? Vaughn is not Vaughn? And he might’ve been/probably was/definitely implied that he was a “bad guy”? And Sydney meeting him specifically wasn’t a coincidence? My brain computes that not. How can that be?

Here’s what I know from the past:

  1. Alias is a bigger-than-life comic book.
  2. The writers know what they’re doing.
  3. No detail is too small or too far in the past to be important.
  4. This story line will be like every Rambaldi story line: ridiculously unbelievable and preposterous.
  5. I will anticipate season five like no other season yet. That’s a lot of anticipating.
  6. I will watch every episode of season five, whenever it starts. (Damn you, Ben Affleck!)
  7. I will love every bit of it.
  8. I will evangelize the brilliance of Alias to everyone I meet.

I have so many more thoughts and comments, but I need to re-watch the ending. Until then I can’t write any more.

I need a stiff drink cold slushee.

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