Virginia is not a state

Great news for the Commonwealth:

Four hundred years after Captain John Smith established the first permanent English colony in Jamestown, the Commonwealth of Virginia is leading the way once again. Virginia grabbed the top spot in’s first ever Top States for Business thanks to its strong economic growth, low business costs and excellent quality of life.

The state called “Earth’s only paradise” by poet Michael Drayton dominated our rankings placing in the top ten in each of the six categories we examined: business costs, economic climate, growth prospects, labor, quality of life and regulatory environment. No other state placed in the top ten in more than three categories.

Ahh, that excellent quality of life. It’s because we’re working hard to drive out gays and lesbians. Can’t have any of them around if we want to be a great place to live. And the regulatory environment will be better, since companies don’t have any of those pesky alternative lifestyle issues, like choosing your own partner for love and living in sin because your relationship isn’t recognized.

Enough sarcasm. Surely the business environment must take into account an expected loss of private contract rights. We may be considered a great place to live, but myopic lenses do not offer the complete picture. As the election cycle begins to heat up, I am not looking forward to the loss of respect I will experience for my fellow Virginians when the bigot amendment inevitably passes.

Today’s pessimism brought to you by George Allen. George Allen: proudly leading Virginia into the 20th Century.